The Catch Up – The TWW Begins (pt. 5 of 5)

Following my FET on Tuesday Feb. 6th, I was put on bedrest for three days and as I had taken Friday off as well, that day pretty much was spent watching Netflix as well. I am going to list my symptom spotting below, day by day, as this is what I use to look back on from cycle to cycle for reference.

1dp5dt – I was having twinges/full feeling in my uterus area, a headache, I was gassy, had a headache, and my breasts were definitely tender; though, I assume that is from all of the progesterone I have been taking.

2dp5dt – Continued having twinges/full feeling in uterus area, woke up early and couldn’t get back to sleep, vivid dreams, sore/dry throat, congested, cried easily, peeing a lot, one dizzy spell, mild breast tenderness.

3dp5dt – full feeling, twinges/cramping, woke up early again, sore/dry throat, runny nose, watery mouth, nausea began in afternoon, hip pain, shooting pain in left breast, mild breast tenderness, shortness of breath, shooting pain in vagina (lightening crotch as I’ve seen it called lol).

4dp5dt – full feeling starting in afternoon, queasy, mild disinterest in food, woke up multiple times throughout the night, twinges, sweating/hot flashes, stuffy nose, dry throat, watery mouth, tired, shortness of breath, random bout of heart racing while resting, hip pain, mild back pain, gassy, sore vagina, gentle stabbing feeling in uterus.

5dp5dt – vivid dreams, woke up early, full feeling, runny/stuffy nose, sensitive nipples, nausea (almost threw up due to mucous), minor sensitivity to smells, dizzy, nipple zaps, burpy/gassy, cramps, sore lower back, sore hips, sore legs, hot flashes. *becoming hopeful about this cycle*

6dp5dt – woke up early, hot at night, full/pulling feeling in uterus, sharp twinges, nausea that varied throughout the day, smells are overwhelming, cramping, stuffy nose, cramps that feels like burning, bloated, headache, shortness of breath, get tired easily, sweating after minor activity, very cold at bedtime.

7dp5dt – stuffy nose, cough, woke up early, cramping that feels like burning, nausea (gagged on vitamines), shortness of breath, slight disinterest in food, sore back, very tired, smells still somewhat overwhelming, shooting pain in uterus when standing quickly (twice), feeling cold, irritable, left nipple is larger.

8dp5dt – nauseous all day, dizzy, smells slightly overwhelming at times, feeling cold, shooting pain when standing (once), tired, sore back, irritable, headache, sweating after minimal activity, crampy/burning feeling, slightly more emotional.

9dp5dt – woke up early, cramping/burning feeling, bloated, pulling feeling, stuffy nose, vivid dreams, night sweats, dizziness, lightning crotch, shortness of breath, tired midday, hip pain, metallic taste in mouth, heartburn, nauseous at times (most often after activity or eating), itchy nipple, appetite increasing in comparison to previous few days, constipated. *starting to get worried as symptoms seem to be lessening, are not as consistent throughout the day*

So that’s it for now, as usual the past nine days of my (literal) two week wait have been an absolute rollercoaster ride of emotions. At times I am extremely hopeful, at times I assume that if it did work it is now ending anyway as a chemical pregnancy, then there are other times I find myself imaginging that this will work and thinking about the future. I wish I could sleep through the entire two weeks so that I don’t have to go through the mental anguish of it all.

Either way, I go for my beta testing on 14dp5dt, which is coming up (EVER SO SLOWLY!!) on Tuesday Feb 20th…

Bah!

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The Pause. 

I know I have been MIA for a while, mostly because there hasn’t been anything to say on the TTC front. We’re on a pause. We’re not sure how long this pause will last at the moment as I haven’t even spoken to our RE for a follow up to our last cycle yet. As I’ve previously mentioned, our RE/Nurse/Clinic does not even make a follow up call after final bloodwork of a failed cycle; it’s up to us to make contact. My husband and I still need to sit down and come up with a list of questions to ask when we do call in. I have started one, but need his input to make sure I am not missing anything. In the mean time, we’ve been getting quotes for roofers in our area as our shingles are literally flying off our roof at an alarming rate; the best part is that it has not stopped raining in weeks it seems so if it wasn’t leaking before, it probably is now.  Some days I hate adulting.

 

Following our failed cycle, I chose not to go back on birth control for a bit (something that I have ALWAYS been on as a hormone replacement #bumovaries) to see just what my body might do on it’s own. The answer to that folks is NOTHING. My body chose to do NOTHING on it’s own. I shouldn’t be surprised, but like always I held out a little bit of hope that I might get a natural cycle (without ovulation as I don’t have eggs). Well, thinking back I guess it’s unfair to say that my body did nothing, what it did manage to do was start going through menopause. See, that is why I have been on hormone supplementation since I was 11 years old; my ovaries suck so I have been keeping menopause at bay constantly since then with the use of birth control. Let me tell you, menopausal hot flashes are no joke (I cannot tell you how much jokes about hot flashes/menopause piss me off – if only people knew how shitty it all is…). Not only have i been experiencing hot flashes, but I have also been experiencing dryness *ahem* down there. After not having sex for the six weeks of our cycle, this is not something that is welcomed. So finally, after 36 days, I decided enough is enough and started back on birth control. It’s been a week now and yet I’m still dealing with the hot flashes. I guess patience is a virtue…

 

I have been talking with my close friend about different medications and approaches that we might want to consider moving forward to help with thin lining and implantation issues. She is dealing with very similar situation and has been excellent in the research that she has been doing. I’m guilty in of getting tired of reading the same information over and over again and sometimes take a break from it; whereas she sticks to it and tends to stumble upon new ideas. So my list of questions/suggestions is growing for my RE and I guess I need to get on with booking a follow up appointment with him so we can start working on a plan. A plan that probably won’t be implemented until the end of summer, but we shall see.

 

It’s not easy taking a break, yet at the same time I think it’s necessary. My husband refers to me as a fighter that he, as a coach, keeps putting back into the ring no matter how beat up I get. He feels bad and wishes that there is more he could do. He’s wonderful and it’s good that he makes me step back and breathe every now and then; otherwise, I’d be jumping head first into the next cycle and that might not be best for my mind, body, spirit or wallet.

Sometimes it takes the person you love, not just to pick you back up, but to hold you back from the fight once in a while.