FET#3 – Cycle Day 30 (?)

I’ve lost track but I think it’s day 30?! It feels as though a lot has happened since I last made time for this keyboard and posted an update on Cycle Day 8; I think I’m overdue, so I’ll start right where I left off.

On CD 10 I returned to the clinic for another scan and bloods. My lining stuck true to it’s nature and had only grown to 4.3mm. The clinic called that afternoon and instructed me to stay on the same dose of Menopur as planned and return on CD 14 for another check. Well a lot of good that seemed to do, when I returned for a lining check, my measurement was 3.6mm!!!!!! WTF?! I resigned myself to having this cycle cancelled like our fresh cycle had been. I had actually convinced myself two appointments ago that they would call to cancel so this was the deciding factor, I figured. How could it not be?! We had given Menopur a try but let’s face it, my lining was not responding to it and it was time to cut our losses.

When they called that afternoon and the nurse gave me instructions to stop the Menopur, as expected; however, I was a little shocked when she told me to start taking 8mg Estogen (vaginally) per day and start with 100mg Estradot patches every day. Wait, what?! They were continuing my cycle but I just convinced myself it was a last ditch effort before they cancel and waste the whole thing. I did as instructed and was asked to return on CD 21 for another scan and bloods. Let me tell you, my last post talked about the side effects of being a constant blubbery mess; well, that was absolutely caused by the Menopur. The day I stopped taking it, I stopped crying but as the Estrogen entered my body – the bitchiness started – something my husband would agree with lol.

 

Anyway, as I drove to the clinic at 5:50am on CD21, I resigned myself one more time for them cancelling the cycle later that day and went into the scan with ZERO expectations.

Can you imagine my damn surprise when the nurse informed me that my lining was over 7mm! Let me just say this, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS THING WE CALL THE HUMAN BODY. I don’t get how it works but for once mine decided to show up to the fucking party!!! A few tears slipped out as I laid there having the scan done – and at one point the nurse had to tell me to lay my head back down and relax as she couldn’t get a clear picture – ha!

They called me later that day to tell me to continue on the same meds and then the next day I was to take a trigger shot (10,000mg of HCG) “just in case” my bum ovaries had decided to do something while I had been taking the Menopur. Two days after the trigger shot, I started PIO 50mg each evening. Three days after that, I was scheduled for another Matris Scan to check the quality of my lining and I began taking Medrol (a type of prednisone) that I am to be on for 5 days total. The scan results came back the next day and my result was 7 out of 10! Anything over 7 is considered good. Our last cycle, my RE transferred even though my results came back at 6 out of 10 because with my shitty lining, he figured it was the best we were ever going to achieve, so needless to say, I was pretty pumped.

Finally, on CD 29 (?) we went in for our FET #3! They were calling for a huge winter storm in our area throughout the day of our transfer yesterday so we only drove halfway and took the train for the second half of our trip as the highway can get quite messy in bad weather. By some miracle though, the storm didn’t really start until we got back home. Our transfer went off without a hitch this time and for now I am officially PUPO again.

Fingers crossed yet again.

FET #3 – Cycle Day 8…

On Friday I had the Endometrial Scratch….OW. I wouldn’t put it at a 10/10 on the pain scale but for the brief 15 seconds that everything was happening, it was pretty damn close! I just bit down on my hand to stifle my scream and took some deep breaths to get through it. As my RE told me before hand, “there are going to be two people in the room and neither of us will want to be there.”  I think he was pretty spot on. The cramping and spotting lasted the rest of the day but was fine by Saturday.

I had a brutal cold that lasted all weekend so I had trouble trying to figure out if the headache I was having was from all of the nasal congestion or if it was due to the medication. Luckily, I’ve figured it out now – it’s definitely from the medication as it has stuck around. Two nights ago I went to bed at 8:30pm; I was a sobbing mess. I stood in front of my husband crying and asking him to make me feel better. I had had enough and it was SO painful. I’m a migraine sufferer and have gone through phases where I have a tension headache for, literally, months; however, there are few headaches that have brought me to full on tears as this one did.

Though, now that I think back, it might have something to do with the fact that since I have begun taking Menopur, I have turned into a blubbering mess. Quite seriously, I cry at the drop of a hat these days. On Saturday, while laid up on the couch all day with the cold – I cried FIVE TIMES before noon!!! Whether it was a sappy commercial or movie, or just my puppy being super sweet; it did not matter, it brought me to tears. 

Now, I have had heightened emotions during previous cycles as well, but this has brought it to a whole new level. Thankfully, I seem to be able to avoid such breakdowns at work so far and hope very much to keep it that way due to my chosen field.

Yesterday, I went for my second set of scans and blood work. My husband had to come with me this time as we needed to sign all of our consent forms by Monday (yesterday) in order to continue with our cycle. I’d like to point out that we were given our consent forms on Thursday and had been asked to complete them by my Endometrial Scratch on Friday (again, we were told that we would not be able to continue with the cycle if we didn’t have them completed by that day); however, they require the signatures to be witnessed by someone at the clinic OR by a Notary! My husband was not able to accompany me to the Endometrial scratch as they had given us less than 24 hours notice for that appointment and I was already having to take time off work to go and we were working opposite shifts on Thursday – so how the heck does one manage to get the consent forms signed and witnessed within that short time frame?! The answer – we didn’t have them done by Friday. I had him sign the forms anyway and I brought them in but informed them of the circumstance. My RE was able to smooth everything over for my Endometrial Scratch to go ahead as planned but told me I would need to have the forms completed properly and submitted by Monday at the latest. This means either travelling back to the city (2 hour drive in each direction just to sign some documents in front of someone at the clinic), find a Notary that was open over the long weekend (yes, Monday was a holiday here so nothing was open then either), or my husband could accompany me bright and early for my scan appointment on Monday to our monitoring clinic.

My lining measurement has always been a source of apprehension for me as I’ve always had trouble. As my RE says “kid, no doubt you are talented in a lot of different areas – but growing a lining isn’t one of them!” (Don’t worry, I love my RE and in no way do I find this hurtful or offensive, he actually manages to make me laugh EVERY time I see him.) I had a bit of an internal panic moment when I looked at my file and my measurement was noted to be 0.4!!! I had a bit of a heart attack while thinking to myself that it might be a little earlier than I am used to having scans, but usually am scanned around CD10 and have at least 4mm(ish). For nearly three hours (even after getting to work and trying to distract myself with other tasks…) I was under the impression that I had the thinnest lining on the face of the earth. …And then I realized that my clinic has always recorded my lining measurements this way and that in fact my lining IS measuring at 4mm as they record their results in centimeters! I couldn’t believe that I had forgotten this from previous cycles and had spent so much time freaking out; oh, I think my brain is broken!

So I have calmed down significantly, I’m actually feeling a little hopeful as this scan was about three days earlier in the cycle than usual so my lining *might* actually be behaving better this time?! I don’t want to set myself up for failure but I’m letting a little bit of the hope shine through. I go back for another scan and blood work on  Thursday so we’ll see then how it’s going. I haven’t been for any acupuncture yet as it hasn’t fit into my schedule/budget for the past two weeks and now I don’t know if I should hold off to see if everything is going fine without it and save a little bit of money if it is OR risk having my lining not respond as well without it….BAH!

On a more positive note,  since the day it arrived in the mail,  I have been wearing a bracelet that I received this Christmas which has meant so much to me. Through this blogging world,  I have found someone that really gets it. We have such similar stories and experiences that it’s actually kind of crazy when we compare similarities. She sent me this bracelet and it’s a constant reminder of strength this  cycle and it’s helping me to believe that our wish will one day come true. I am beyond greatful for the many people the blog has brought into my life! 

XO ❤️

  

FET #3 – Cycle Day 3…

Things have started up again. My husband and I chose to wait a couple of extra weeks before starting this FET cycle in order to make sure our heads were on straight before jumping back into the craziness of it all. We chose to do two extra weeks of birth control which wasn’t an issue with my Doctor.

Two days ago, I got my ‘withdrawal bleed’ (the only ever type of period I have experienced as I do not, nor have I ever, cycled naturally). The bleeding has been slightly irregular for me, in the sense that it has been very light flow, and brown in nature after the first night (which actually started around 10pm on Monday). That is until today when things started right up and the flow became heavier and more red. I’m not normally one to have such a slow start to things – and just my luck – on the day of my baseline scan.

As I previously wrote up in a recent post, today I am to start Menopur; which is another first for me. As our protocol for this FET has significantly changed from our last three (two FETs that resulted in chemical pregnancies, one fresh transfer that was cancelled at the very last minute), there are going to be a lot of firsts coming up. The next one being an endometrial scratch. I got the call a few minutes ago that I will be having the scratch done TOMORROW at 11am. I must say, they are great with the advance notice! I will be travelling to the clinic in the big city (where we have our transfers done) for this so I now need to book off from work as it will take most of the day and I was scheduled to work from 8-4. Thankfully, my boss has been great thus far is working my schedule around any appointments that arise.

I am currently waiting for another call, from our other clinic (where our monitoring is done) to let me know all of the instructions surrounding the scratch procedure. I’m not going to lie, I’m a little nervous as a friend has informed me (as has my RE) that it’s going to hurt like bloody murder. Great. My husband has plans out of town; which he’s ready to drop at a moment’s notice to take me if I want – the trouble with that is, I have a very strong resolve to try to keep our lives as normal as possible during all of this as the stress and enormity of it all is always extremely overwhelming. I don’t want this to be our lives. I want there to be more for the both of us through this. His plans out of town are for something that he looks forward to on a yearly basis, all of his friends from near and far are coming for it and I don’t want to take that away from him. He’s offered, and made it very clear that this FET is his main priority right now (have I ever mentioned how damn amazing this man is?! He really is…). Now I just need to let him know if I’ll take him up on his offer; something I’m not even sure of yet.

So I guess I’ll get back to work for now as I’ve been distracted long enough and now my week is going to be shorter than expected already. Hope my instruction phone call comes in soon so I can start making decisions….what to do, what to do?….