BUT I WANT IT NOWWWWW!!

February 23 cannot come soon enough. I just want to know for sure that our donor passes her screening with flying colours and all my fears of unforeseen issues can get the hell out of my head.

We are waiting until after she passes the screening to acquire the lawyers to help us through the next portion of this journey. I made contact with both lawyers suggested by our clinic to get more information about pricing and timelines….have I mentioned that it seems I made the wrong career choice? Man, lawyers are so damn expensive – all I need is a contract between ourselves and our donor – $1400… Really?!  Because things aren’t expensive enough already?!  Ugh, wrong career indeed.

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Also,  my husband completed another semen analysis last week,  this time with DNA fragmentation testing to ensure that all is well before we head down this overwhelmingly expensive journey. The results should be in before the end of this week…. Fingers crossed all is well on that front.

Please no bumps in the road… Aside from that big picture,  ever desired baby bump. One day,  right?!  My god,  this urge is overwhelming. Now that this process is within our grasp, soon to have an actual timeline for the first time ever…. I just want to throw my body to the floor and have a full blown tantrum and demand that everything happens right away. I don’t wanna wait,  I DON’T WANNAAAAAAA! 

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Disbelief

**I wrote this post a number of weeks ago and hadn’t brought myself to post it until today… So many feels.

So something BEYOND exciting happened last night. After two and a half years of having our hands tied and playing the waiting game for our donor to be ready…. She sent me a message last night informing me that she is now done breast feeding!!!

She has the remainder of her screening tests scheduled for Feb 23 and we should be good to go after that.

I’m stunned, I’m in shock, I am just so overwhelmed with emotion right now.

After took a moment to break down and sob… I pulled myself together enough to call my hubby at work to let him know. We’re overjoyed.

.. I’m also scared. Like I previously shared,  once we actually start this process,  we are opening ourselves up to so so so many ‘what ifs’.  So many things can go wrong now.

But oh so many things can go right! I will focus on feeling hopeful and excited and overjoyed. I will do everything I possibly can to increase our chances! 

2016…let’s do this.