Schrodinger’s Cat

We have been waiting for a long time to get started in this process. Up until now, it hasn’t been up to us when we start. When funding was announced for Ontario, I put our names on the waiting list, just in case.

Since then, we have met with our donor to discuss where we stand. She is still breast feeding but things are progressing simultaneously. In conjunction with our fertility clinic, a date was set today for our donor to complete the remainder of the screening process. Which coincidentally means that now the financial aspect of the whole situation is also progressing. Stress. Excitement. Fear…. the list goes on.

How do I make more money to cover all of the costs? I have sent out many resumes over the last few months and have heard NOTHING back…I have full time employment but would really prefer some extra income. Our town has the highest unemployment rate in the country. Thankfully we are both employed but it definitely reduces our options  for obtaining extra income.

More fear comes from the fact that up until now, I’ve been able to dream that everything will work out when the times comes. Now, the time may be upon us. What if it doesn’t all work out. What if there’s more wrong with me than we originally imagined. What if this takes more than one attempt… it’s hard enough coming up with the funding for this one.

I’m scared. Terrified, really. There are so many ‘what if’s…

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