A little panicked, a little overwhelmed, and a lot jealous.

After speaking with our Donor coordinator, we have finally set up our appointment with the Doctor who will complete the egg transfer process for us. She sent me an email with all of the initial information outlining the IVF process…oh, and the cost list. Talk about scary. We knew this would be a very expensive process but man oh man is it ever feeling real now.

I’ve written letters to government officials in hopes of getting some answers regarding IVF coverage in Ontario, Canada. Although they have all responded and my letter has been forwarded to the Minister of Health and Long Term Care, I am no closer to finding out more information or having the concrete answer that I was hoping for. This leaves me with searching for a part time job, to supplement my full time employment. I never thought I would say it but I really hope to be working around 60 hours a week soon. We need it. My husband already works a part time job (approx 35 hours per week) and another contract position which fills up most of his time but it’s just not enough. We’re really trying to avoid this process putting us into debt but at this point, I’m not sure if that’s possible.

Anyway, back to the email we received from the Donor coordinator. In addition to the letter outlining the process and costs, it also included two questionnaires for our donor to complete and return ASAP. I forwarded the email to our donor and fingers crossed she will return it soon. We have an appointment set up for Friday Sept 25 to meet the Doctor and discuss everything with him. We were also asked to research the list of counselors and pick one as we will have to sit down with one of them as a part of the overall process requirements. So, we chose one and now we just wait for an appointment.

Sometimes it feels as though the ball is rolling but it’s really, truly not. We are STILL waiting for our donor to be done breast feeding. It’s terrifying though because I don’t want to be pushy – she should be able to do what she wants for her own children – but on the other hand, we just found out that the donor age range is usually between the ages of 22-32. Our donor is already 33 and if we wait too much longer, I don’t know if she’ll make it through the screening. If that’s the case, we’re officially out of luck, back to the beginning and facing twice the cost of this process.

Yesterday, I received another email from the Doctor’s office with an attachment that included another questionnaire; this one for me and my husband to complete regarding all of the nitty gritty details about our sex life, sexual and medical history, as well as family health history. TWENTY ONE pages. After calling my mom multiple times to answer various family medical history questions and filling out the remaining questions on my own; two hours later, I was finally done everything and sat down to relax. I picked up my phone and noticed I had a new email from my mother-in-law…”EXCITING NEWS! Your cousin and his new wife are expecting!! YAY!”

kidding me

…please excuse me while I ignore this email and take some selfish time to myself before I share in this exciting news. Sometimes your timing sucks mom-in-law. Just saying.

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Slowly, slowly, slowly….moving a little bit forward

We have been referred to a fertility clinic closer to where we live now. It took a while to get things moving but we have now met with the Doctor there and were very happy with him. Unfortunately, due to the complicated nature of our situation, they are only able to help us with certain aspects of the process and we will need to go to a bigger city to have the actual egg transfer from our donor. The good news is that they believe they can perform most of the monitoring during the process a little closer to home; a necessity for our donor.

During that appointment they sent us for some screening tests, again. I have had these completed multiple times in the past but it has been two years since the last set so they wanted everything to be completed again. Yay.
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First up was getting a whole vat of blood tests completed for myself and my husband. I officially beat my own blood drawing record – they took FIFTEEN vials of blood; thankfully, I have never had a fear of needles or having my blood taken since I’ve been having it done the majority of my life. Unfortunately, my husband – who is NOT good with needles, also had to have blood tests completed again but they only took seven from him so he survived it.
Next was the dreaded sonohystogram…boo. So far this is my absolutely least favourite test procedure. The saline solution that they inject through a catheter into my uterus hurts. If you ever need to have this test, TAKE THE IBUPROFEN THEY SUGGEST YOU TAKE! Also, something I learned from the first time – DO NOT FORGET TO BRING A PANTYLINER!! Thankfully, it hurt a little less this time and it was conveniently scheduled for the day that we were headed to a cottage for the weekend so I was able to go relax for the rest of the day.
I just got the call yesterday from the Fertility office in the bigger city where they will be completing the transfer. We are looking to book an appointment for sometime next week to go get more information. Our donor will also need to start the screening process to ensure that everything is good on her end of things as well. Hopefully we can get everything set up for a day that she is available to travel all the way to the city. Seems like she is still breastfeeding also, so we are definitely still playing the waiting game as to when we will start this whole process….in the meantime, I’m looking for an additional part time job as I have been doing more research into the cost of everything and I’m starting to have mini heart attacks.
I wonder if I can win the lottery without buying a ticket?